Lazuli Green Island Mama

Lazuli Green Island Mama

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

darkness awaits

In small cracks and crevices, darkness awaits.
Behind opague clouds, in the shadows of Autumn, darkness awaits.
O rest assured, I do revel in it. I know it sometimes will come and that is the way it should be.

On this chilly afternoon, darkness has arrived. I have received the sweet phone call delivering bitter news. I hear it and accept it peaceably, surrendering with dignity. It is as it should be.

And now I wallow in the moment of it. I dig out my favourite dark melodies...
The Smiths What difference does it make; and Stop me if you've heard this one before... that's a goodie.
The Cure Fascination Street. O that one is thorough and good. Really. It hits the nail on the head.
the Beastie Boys - that's a bit of naughty fun when the kids aren't listening,
Ani di Franco Untouchable face - so is that,
Sinead O'Connor You cause as much sorrow
U2 So Cruel.

Of course these dark tunes are not holding a message of truth. I don't feel animosity or resentment or any bitterness to the bearers of my disappointing news. I'm simply disappointed for myself. I allow myself to be. I was aiming high, but this time I didn't quite reach. I will in the future though.

So when I've had my time of wallowing moments, I will again fill up my cup. That's when the rejuvenating sounds will fill my home and infuse my soul with love and wellbeing, just in time for my boykaloiks to return home after a day of (hopefully) fun activity.

All is as it should be. All experiences shall be honoured for what they bring to us.

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