Well, there's been a shift around here. Based on our experience with our No-no, we did expect it sometime after the fourth birthday, but of course you never really know when it will happen.
Our Choochie has been snuzzling next to or very close to us, every night, for 4 years and 1 month. There have been the odd nights when he wouldn't come into our room, but they were very odd. And in our house, whatever will result in all of the family having the most satisfactory sleep possible, is what we allow to happen. All of the family. That means if one small family member will only sleep if he's close to us, then close to us he's allowed to be. It is much more comfortable if he uses the cot mattress that we keep next to our bed, but we will go as far as one of the adults sleeping in Chooch or Noah's beds if that bed is empty and ours is a tad too full.
Of course, we dream of the day (night) when we are undisturbed, unsquished, un-tapped on the head or elbowed in the cheek or kicked in the nose. O yes, we hanker after it. And then one day, we notice that the blankets on the little bed beside ours are still straight when the sun rises. And again, and again, until it's been a week or two since Chooch has come through, woken us, or secretly slept as close as he could.
And that's when I suddenly realise that he's not quite as close as before. I have enough breathing space to notice, and then to think that four years really wasn't all that long afterall, was it? I have to chase him, remember to ask for more cuddles, remember to hold him close and smell him and remind him that his mama loves him.
Rest asssured, he's not that far away really. He does still ask for many "cuddles on the couch", or nudges during dinner, or forcefully sitting on our laps each day. This kid is warm and loving and demands it of his loved ones. But still... there's been a shift. It's not quite the same as him being close all the time.
Bless his days and nights. May he always sleep well and peacefully, warmly and safely, knowing that he is loved, near and far.
Last weekend, on a sunny Springy Sydney Sunday morning, we headed just a little way north, to our (not quite yet) new home. As I sat on the ferry, alone, crossing the sparkling water, I could hardly wait. The Zimbo and the boykaloikes were already there and I was trying so hard to surrender to the moment. Surrender to the fact that I ended up being an hour late (for a very important date). I tried hard to be in the moment of drinking in the lovely first ferry ride back to the island, since we'd signed a contract on our house. Back to the island. On a very deep level, which I can only hear when I'm very still, I already feel like I'm coming home.
and created Captain Underpants costumes,
and began exploring an island. Soon it's going to be "their" island. Well, a piece of it will be. So there's also been much dreaming this winter. Dreaming of where to place a slippery dip (inside on the stairs or outside from back verandah to yard?), of boys in boats, of Mama learning to drive a boat, of Dad relaxing with an outdoor bbq with his own view of the water, dreams of friends and playing and jumping off jetties to swim and, and, and... so much more dreaming than that.
