Lazuli Green Island Mama

Lazuli Green Island Mama

Thursday, June 7, 2012

the yearning


We are tossing around the idea of leaving this place, tossing it around like a light summer salad, to go and find a bit of adventure in another country. It's often been the way for me. Most times when I've headed off, looking for 'a bit of adventure', I'm happy where I am.

Have I told you lately how much I like it here? Like it... I think it's LOVE, baby! I think this patch of water and hill of an island and these spotted gums have surpassed the Shoalhaven River - place of my childhood dreams - to become my favourite place in Australia. And not just the beautiful surrounds... this house IN these beautiful surrounds gives such a magical, loving energy of its own.

I feel safe here. I feel well. I have this viewing platform sanctuary, looking north, high up in the trees, that really takes my breath away and fills me with deep sustaining breath simultaneously. It breathes life in to me - this home, in this place. As well as all that I have space and plenty of spare beds and enough pillows and blankets and mugs to share it all with treasured loved ones. O how they are treasured.

So why would we leave?

I'll tell you why (did you really doubt that I would?)...

Because "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got" (Anthony Robbins).

Because when I was 19 I danced around the kitchen of an old German farmhouse in Libby-dibby's ugg boots to There's more to life than this, completely happy and madly in love with the Zimbo and those 3 loved ones who were all quite bemused by my music tastes, and I haven't forgotten it.

Because we've dreamed and spoken of the freedom of global trit-trotting with our boyks when the time comes.

Because to say "No" to an opportunity could be saying no to something extraordinary.

Because we can't say no. We just aren't made that way. It's not how we operate.

Because our friend Marina said "You're very brave, you know", and a part of me believes her.

Because as much as we love this, there's more. God knows, this is not the Zimbabwean's full stop.

Because this is not my full stop.


  1. " We shall not cease from exploration
    and the end of all our exploring
    will be to arrive where we started
    and know the place for the first time"

    "Little Giddings" TS Eliot.