I was recently...
Wandering :: the streets of Chatswood. So overflowing with consumerism, materialism. Chaotic yet mind-numbingly empty.
Pondering :: Why would a shop selling cheap clothing, made in China at the hands of underpaid factory workers, bother to call itself "THINK". ??
Questioning :: What is it I aim to be doing right now in relation to parenting?
Answering :: Raising my children compassionately so they may see themselves and the world around them.
Questioning :: But why?!? The world around them is crazy and full and dirty and chaotic and there are images of soldiers with automatic weapons in the shop window before them. !!!?! I live here, in this country, so that my children are not standing near a soldier holding a weapon as we go about our day. So WHO (!?) thinks that poster is appropriate for the windows of this public street, in full view of MY children!
More questioning :: To teach my children something, do I need to be doing something "Out There", doing something to make the world better, to improve the lot of someone, for myself? The time is getting closer. And how will I fit that in with caring for my family?
Feverish :: with a cold infecting my airways on the day of the pondering trot. Perhaps that is why I was questioning the meaning of my existence in winter, rather than the more usual end of summer.
Declaring :: there must be more to life than waltzing around looking fabulous. More to life than being a good person. More to life than textures and colours and tastes that please me. More to life than this!!
If I die tomorrow, where does my spirit go? And if indeed I have a spirit which can be released, currently tied up in this body... then why? Why does my spirit need a body to exist in... for what purpose? That surely brings us back to the meaning of life.
O how exhausting.