from little things big things grow

This sun has endured the delivery of yet another life lesson. He has delivered to me a lesson in being reasonable, sensible, compassionate and human.

This big loud spirit in a little stringy body has a very human need to express himself. Here I've been, thinking that he still needs to learn how to do that. O no no no no. No. I need to learn to allow him to do that, and to allow the forms he chooses to do so.

One way he expresses himself is by dressing in a certain, very particular to him, way.

What, indeed, have I been thinking!? Luckily, I have amazing, clear, loving, intelligent people supporting me in my mothering. They are brave enough to share with me their observations, even opinions. O how grateful I am. You know who you are.

So, anyway, a few days ago I took him shopping so he could choose his own clothes for the first time. For the first time! I chose a shop that was economical enough for me, but that would also offer something he was sure to like. And he clearly, quietly, enjoyed himself. In no time at all he had thoughtfully chosen:

• 1 pair of black skinny jeans
• 1 pair of grey skinny jeans
• 1 black t-shirt (his favourite item)
• 1 grey t-shirt, and 2 white t-shirts. All with quite cool pictures, I might add.

And he was soooo pleased. So quietly pleased and comfortable. And at peace and ease with himself. And - about that issue - continues to be.

O WHY did that lesson take so long for me to learn!

Well... one of those loving, supportive, amazing people pointed out to me today that the idea was certainly placed firmly in my head, 3 years ago, that black was an inappropriate colour for the young child. And you know, I still think it is, when you are being thoughtful about introducing colour. But for this child, this is the colour his heart needs right now. Who am I to ask 'why'? And perhaps allowing him to know that, and choose that, will fulfill the need.

Heart to heart parenting... I tell you, it takes some work. But o how satisfying to know that his heart is content. And our struggle, about this particular issue, has stopped.

Through the depths of me you came,
but from nowhere I've ever been.
My delight!
Be patient with me.

Bend and pull me along with your lessons.
Show me the world as you see it.
For you I will travel the universe to learn what you need me to teach you.
Be patient with me.

I thank you for the lessons, with all that I am.