from little things big things grow

This sun has endured the delivery of yet another life lesson. He has delivered to me a lesson in being reasonable, sensible, compassionate and human.

This big loud spirit in a little stringy body has a very human need to express himself. Here I've been, thinking that he still needs to learn how to do that. O no no no no. No. I need to learn to allow him to do that, and to allow the forms he chooses to do so.

One way he expresses himself is by dressing in a certain, very particular to him, way.

What, indeed, have I been thinking!? Luckily, I have amazing, clear, loving, intelligent people supporting me in my mothering. They are brave enough to share with me their observations, even opinions. O how grateful I am. You know who you are.

So, anyway, a few days ago I took him shopping so he could choose his own clothes for the first time. For the first time! I chose a shop that was economical enough for me, but that would also offer something he was sure to like. And he clearly, quietly, enjoyed himself. In no time at all he had thoughtfully chosen:

• 1 pair of black skinny jeans
• 1 pair of grey skinny jeans
• 1 black t-shirt (his favourite item)
• 1 grey t-shirt, and 2 white t-shirts. All with quite cool pictures, I might add.

And he was soooo pleased. So quietly pleased and comfortable. And at peace and ease with himself. And - about that issue - continues to be.

O WHY did that lesson take so long for me to learn!

Well... one of those loving, supportive, amazing people pointed out to me today that the idea was certainly placed firmly in my head, 3 years ago, that black was an inappropriate colour for the young child. And you know, I still think it is, when you are being thoughtful about introducing colour. But for this child, this is the colour his heart needs right now. Who am I to ask 'why'? And perhaps allowing him to know that, and choose that, will fulfill the need.

Heart to heart parenting... I tell you, it takes some work. But o how satisfying to know that his heart is content. And our struggle, about this particular issue, has stopped.

Through the depths of me you came,
but from nowhere I've ever been.
My delight!
Be patient with me.

Bend and pull me along with your lessons.
Show me the world as you see it.
For you I will travel the universe to learn what you need me to teach you.
Be patient with me.

I thank you for the lessons, with all that I am.

One of my favourite people, in one of our favourite places

O yes it is. It's the road that leads through to our favourite swimming pool.

One of our dragon friends. He lives there.

with "light your fire" in mind...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzjERZU3wbY

O, o, o my goodness. How I do love the sentiment in this ditty. The Scottish accent, the joviality, the tambourine, the drums, O I love it.

Despite being quite a bit afraid of sharks, I do still love stretching my arms in the ocean. Especially when my little ones are also enjoying it. And they do, you know it's true. A certain rock pool only 3 blocks away from our home is our new family favourite hang out. We lie like lizards on the rocks, we swim, we dive, we snorkel and we love it.

If you know the one I'm blogging of, we will be most happy to see you there.

the hard facts

Some days are shit, you know. Not mine today. I've had a rather even-keeled, well balanced, in fact - empowering (!) - day. But others around me... well, they have not.

So, I'd like to share a few short sharp facts about parenting. Just in case they resonate with you. In case they lead you to believe that you're not alone, someone else does understand, you are walking in the footsteps of the elders (o yes, indeed it's true).

1. Some days are shit.
2. Some days are not shit. But even on those days, you'll still have to clean it up.
3. Every little snippet of self time that you have the energy for, counts. (Hiding in the bathroom; sipping a tea; adding rose buds to said tea for your heart chakra; sewing even 5 stitches of something; banging on in a blog; baking; ripping up carpet, one square metre at a time; salute to the sun; a quick sms; learning to chant in sanskrit: it all counts in the search for little hints of self)
4. My short sharp facts will never be short or sharp.
5. Your child can't possibly hate you when they are only 6. They are, clearly, only 6. And deluded. And probably very stressed about something.
6. Firm boundaries are good. Even kind.
   
7. Your children are not an extension of you. They come from a place of their own, for a reason of their own.
8. You are not alone in your striving or your suffering.
9. If you are a tree with hundreds of little sparkling lights and some have blown a fuse and been extinguished, more are waiting to be lit.
10. You are loved, so light your fire.
    

5th February

5 years since a wedding

16 years and several months of loving him.

(photo courtesy of Rach)